Hello my new (hopefully) friends,
Here’s the truth: I’m 23 years old. Here’s some more truth: I’m scared that I’ve messed up my life before I even started living it. I’m not talking, “Oops! I dropped it but I’ll just patch it up with some super glue.”
Nope. I smashed that sucker up good.
It’s more like “I took an elevator straight to the top of a 110 story building and purposely threw it over the side.” My life is now lying on a city sidewalk, somewhere in Southern Ontario, cracked into approximately a bazillion pieces.
How is this possible you ask? Drugs? Alcohol? Bieber? Sadly, nothing that tragic. It’s just that in my 23 years as a privileged Canadian girl (woman?), I’ve never really decided what to do with my life. I’ve wasted a lot of time. I tried university and hated it. I tried college and hated it. I quit perfectly good jobs that I financially needed because they were just, you know, KILLING MY SOUL. I watched a bunch of reality television. I neglected to get my driver’s license (I also neglected to learn how to spell the word “license.”) All in all, I think I might be a… what’s that called?… how does it go again?… what the French refer to as… fuck-up. Yes. I might just be a bona fide fuck-up.
But if one is to believe the gravelly-voiced words of Leonard Cohen
, and I always do, then “there’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” So I should be headed for a whole lot of light, right? RIGHT???
Some people look for a mentor to feel like they belong somewhere in this world and help find their footing. Frida was a strong spirited woman who was broken into a "bazillion" pieces too, and through all the suffering, she has shone through the cracked and fragile life she lived.
ReplyDeleteIn beginning this blog, I hope it will help you find your way. Sometimes college or university isn't the way to go. Sometimes you simply find your own way without being told how the world works, but rather, make the world what you want it to be.
I'm not an optimistic person by any means, but I am confident in my strengths. I'm sure you too have many strengths, you need only motivate yourself to use them rather than consider yourself a "fuck-up". You likely tread unfamiliar ground that wasn't so comfortable to walk on.
Good luck to you and I hope your endeavors prove promising to your future.